After returning from Ireland at the end of February I was feeling very internal and not wanting to rush back to my everyday life. I wanted to stay quiet and retain some of the magick of the Emerald Isle and my pilgrimage for myself before engaging with the world. I loved all that was being awakened in me by returning to the land of my ancestors. I can still feel a deepening of the process, I do feel different but couldn't begin to articulate why. It is a feeling, a knowing...of the layers being removed and the inner healing that is still occurring even as I write this. Inner Alchemy always at work, always in a new state of BeComing. Then March 1st rolls around and I find myself completely resistant to scheduling any more classes and creating a monthly newsletter, that takes me alot of time, and who knows if anyone even reads newsletters anymore. So, I did not create a newsletter for March, maybe you noticed, maybe not....
I chose to listen to my own rhythm and trust what my soul needed. Even though I was very uncomfortable hearing the "you should" voice in my head trying to take over, I trusted my rhythm and not that voice. You know "that" voice- the one that has a huge to do list for you, the one that tells you all the reasons you should be worrying instead of happy right now, the one who tells you you're not doing your best, blah, blah, blah....yeah, that voice. That's the voice I wish to speak to you about.
Recently I was sitting and going through some older journals and papers and came across something I wrote that stopped me in my tracks..... "sometimes the little voice in my head breaks my heart"....
....this small truth written in the margin of a deeper thought process in the pages of my journal from 2013, the year that nearly killed me taking me under to face my shadow. What truly stopped me after reading this was the beautiful realization of how long it has been since that little voice has broken me, shamed me into silence, made me question my sanity, pushed me to react from fear...
Today, the little voice in my head is a RockStar, a Cheerleader, a Wise WomBan, a Goddess, a Sister!
So, please, for those of you who still hear that "other" voice, keep going, keep loving, keep crying, keep trusting, and never give up on yourself and your ability to heal, to love, to overcome the conditioning of unworthiness that has been piled on you....and keep revealing your beautiful self, layer by messy layer.....Get real, get vulnerable, get soft......And know that I am here holding space for your Soul Making.
So this is how I am choosing to flow right now.....if you are still on this journey with me I am grateful, as we have so much to learn from one another. As always I thank you for your presence on my path.
So, I am choosing to share my monthly offerings below in a simpler format as I listen to what needs to birth through me and what is important to share.
I would love to hear from some of you, is anyone else feeling the need to simplify and go deeper within?